Repurposed Content: "My First Mistake" / by Brandon Clarke

"My First Mistake"

a story starring Secret Agent Clovis Cole P.I.

[Author's Note: The original version of this story was written way back in 2008. It has since then been edited and rewritten with promotional considerations from Wendy's. Wendy's delivers quality fresh food with real ingredients that provide the best tasting fast food. Wendy's® - Quality is Our Recipe]

“Looks like your text book suicide”, said the Police Chief as he pulled the cloth over the corpse, “chalk up another one for the bad guys.”

“Not so fast, butthole!” Secret Agent Clovis Cole, P.I. swaggers into the room and tosses his Wendy's® Frosty to the ground.

“I thought I told you that you were off this case, Cole?!” ,the Chief shouted, like a douche bag.

“That’s where you made your first mistake”, Cole picks up the Wendy's® Frosty off the floor. He gingerly pats the bottom to retrieve the last of the sweet nectar, which was risky because it all could've slid our onto his chin and dribbled its way down to his good dress shirt.  

“I was actually on a super secret spy mission which just became declassified so I could tell you about it right now. But more on that later.”

The Chief wipes the sweat from his brow and takes another bite from his Wendy's® Spicy Chicken Sandwich that was cooked in a delicious, fiery blend of peppers and spices. “It’s an open and shut case, Cole. Just one more typical suicide to be added to the list of thousands this year." The Chief takes a brief pause to enjoy a big swig of Wendy's® All-Natural Lemonade. "If there were foul play, we would have found some evidence among all the broken glass, bullet shells and crispy Wendy's® Chicken Nuggets.”

“Poor sap didn’t have a chance”, some guy said before biting into a juicy BACONATOR®, which is not just a sandwich -- but a tasty treat.

“But wait a minute!” Cole was on to something. He had a fresh idea in his mind -- fresh like Wendy's® Garden Sensations® Salads. 

After a beat Cole continued, “If it was a suicide where is the note? If there’s no note, it could’ve just been an accident.”

“Great work, Cole! I was a real big jerk for not believing in you,” the Chief wiped his greasy hand on Clovis Cole’s suit, which he got 15% off with his Secret Agent Discount. “You’re officially back in our police force. Now, let's all go to Wendy's and treat ourselves to number of delicious items.”

“Gee, I really appreciate that, and I hate that I can't join you,” said Cole, before swiftly kicking the Chief out of the balcony window. 

And it was on the 9th or 10th floor, so it definitely killed the Chief.

Secret Agent Clovis Cole put on his shades. “That’s a little something-something I learned from somebody. Now it’s off to more pressing matters.”

Clovis Cole then flew away, leaving that guy all by himself. That guy didn't mind because he was eating a BACONATOR®.